What is Healthy Faith vs. Spiritual ByPassing?

Events in the world have been heavy. And when things get hard, our faith often gets tested.

So what does healthy faith look like when life doesn’t make sense?

According to Hebrews 11:1, “Faith is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see” (The Message).

Hebrews 11:1 paints a powerful picture—but it holds a tension that’s easy to miss at first glance.

On one hand, faith is described as a firm foundation—something strong and steady, like the concrete beneath a house. You may not think about it often, but you trust it’s holding you up. That’s how faith can feel when life is going well: solid, reliable, almost easy to take for granted.

On the other hand, faith is about getting a handle on what you can’t see—a phrase that suggests uncertainty, fumbling, and struggle. You “get a handle” on things like confusing situations, complicated emotions, or tough relationships. You don’t feel certain—but you keep reaching anyway.

So which is it?

The author of Hebrews is telling us that both are true:

• Faith is a firm foundation. We trust that God is there, even when we can’t see Him.
• Faith is also a daily effort to honor what feels uncertain or unseen.

Faith is a fact—and faith is a work in progress. It’s both secure and stretching. It’s both steady and mysterious.

When the Ground Beneath You Shakes

When life is going well, it’s easier to experience faith as that quiet foundation beneath your feet. You might not think about it all the time, but it holds you up.

But what about when life isn’t going well?

What does faith look like when the path forward disappears—when you’re walking through incredibly challenging seasons, such as:

• A betrayal in your marriage
• A heartbreaking challenge with a child
• A painful rupture in a friendship
• A church that wounded you
• A job you hate but can't afford to leave
• Ongoing loneliness, grief, or isolation

How do you get a handle on faith when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart?

When Faith Is Used to Bypass Pain

Sometimes, instead of helping us hold steady through the hard, people use faith to bypass it altogether. This is called spiritual bypassing—using spiritual language or ideas to avoid uncomfortable feelings or difficult realities.

It can sound like:

• “If your faith were stronger, you wouldn’t feel this way.”
• “Just pray about it—you’ll be fine.”
• “Don’t be sad. God has a plan.”
• “God will fix it—just wait.”

You might hear this from others—or you might even say it to yourself. But spiritual bypassing is not the same as spiritual growth. It skips over the deeper wrestling, the depth, that hardship invites us into.

In contrast, healthy faith doesn’t deny the pain. It meets it—with honesty, courage, and connection to God. And it helps us grow through what’s hard, not around it.

What Healthy Faith Looks Like in Hard Seasons

So what does real, grounded, emotionally honest faith look like—when you can’t see the way forward?

It may not be pretty. It’s often not tidy. And it rarely sounds like a perfect devotional quote.

But it’s holy. Here’s where to begin:

1. Tell God the truth about how you feel.

This is foundational. You don’t have to choose between honoring God and being honest. You can do both.

Try praying like this:

• God, right now, this feels cruel.
• God, I feel abandoned.
• God, what’s happening feels so unfair.
• God, I feel lost and alone.

This kind of honesty doesn’t weaken your faith—it deepens it.

‍2. Tell God what is true about him—even when it doesn’t feel true.

Write down what you believe to be true about God:

• God is good.
• God is just.
• God is merciful.
• God is love.

You don’t have to feel these things for them to be true. In fact, naming them in the absence of feeling is a radical act of faith.

It’s like choosing to stay committed to someone you love—even in a season when connection feels strained. It’s an act of staying rooted in what you know, even when emotion lags behind.

‍3. Take one small action.

Faith is not passive. It’s not waiting around for God to fix everything. Faith is choosing to keep going, even when the next steps aren't clear.

Ask yourself: What’s one small step I can take today?

• Set a healthy boundary—say no to a conversation you’re not ready to have, or limit contact if it’s not safe right now.
• Write down what you wish you could say—even if you never send it. Sometimes your heart just needs a witness.
• Talk to someone outside the situation—a trusted friend, therapist, or spiritual guide who can hold space without judgment.
• Unfollow, mute, or take a break—give yourself digital space from people or dynamics that trigger emotional spirals.
• Go outside and move your body—walk, stretch, breathe. Let your nervous system reset.
• Practice saying one true thing out loud—“That hurt.” “This isn’t okay.” “I didn’t deserve that.”
• Do one thing that connects you to yourself—light a candle, journal for 5 minutes, read a comforting passage, or take a long shower.
• Let yourself rest—you don’t have to figure everything out today. Survival is sacred, too.

Each small action is a sacred “yes” to life. Each step is a way of saying to God, “My life matters. I’m doing what I can with what You’ve given me.”

‍You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers to Have Faith.

Faith doesn’t require certainty. It requires connection.

It might sound like:

“God, You say you’ll make all things right… but I don’t see how that’s possible.”

And then? You take one step forward anyway.

Not because everything is clear.
Not because it’s easy.
But because somewhere, deep down, you trust you are not walking alone.

‍

To learn more about how to cultivate an active faith, check out I Shouldn't Feel This Way: Name What's Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action