Refuse to Condemn or Condone

I want to return once more to the Love. Know. Speak. Do. model of biblical discipleship that we had been examining throughout the summer. Before the year concludes, let’s take a final look at each of these four elements that are essential in any healthy Christ-centered relationship.

• To briefly recap, God has appointed us—people in need of an ongoing change—as an instrument to help fellow believers change and become more like Christ.

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

To do this effectively, we must:

• Love them intentionally
• Know them deeply
• Speak with clarity
• Help them do practically

Love. Know. Speak. Do. does not represent a linear, four-step process, as if you must graduate from Love before moving on to Know and finally pushing people to Do. Although there is some logic to the order, all these elements are active simultaneously, as you seek to be the Lord’s ambassador and function as God’s instrument of change in another person’s life. 

LOVE. Know. Speak. Do.

In a cultural moment where love and acceptance in the name of Christ have become blurry, it’s important to remember that love that calls wrong right and right wrong simply isn’t gospel love.

What does the Bible say about the love of Christ and us? The love that adopts me into Christ’s family is not a love that says I am okay. In fact, the Bible is clear that God extends his love to me because I am everything but okay.

As we enter God’s family, we are in need of radical personal change. God’s acceptance is not a call to relax, but a call to work. Paul says in Titus 2:11–12, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.”

The love God extends to us is always a love leading to change. If love wants and works for what is best for you, then love is committed to being part of what God says is best in your life. So, I am committed to being God’s tool for what he says is best in your life, even if that means we have to go through tense and difficult moments to get there.

I think often we opt for silence, willingly avoiding issues and letting wrong things go on unchecked, not because we love the other person, but because we love ourselves and just don’t want to go through the hassle of dealing with something that God says is clearly wrong. We are unwilling to make the hard personal sacrifices that are the call of real love.

At the same time, self-righteous, judgmental, critical condemnation is equally as unloving. This puts you in the way of what the Lord is doing in their lives. You must grant them the same love and patience that you received from the Lord.

So we sturdily refuse to condemn, but we also refuse to condone. As we offer people a humble, patient, gentle, forbearing, and forgiving love, we must never communicate that it is okay for them to stay as they are.

God’s love is always love leading to change. Since God’s purpose is that we would become “partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Peter 1:4), change is his agenda.

As long as any trace of indwelling sin remains, change is God’s call. It must never be compromised in the relationships he gives us. To do so is to cease to be an ambassador and to stand in the way of the Lord’s work in that person’s life.

We accept people with a love that empowers us for God’s work of heart change. Anything less cheapens his grace and denies the gravity of our need.

A Prayer for Today: God, may I be a humble and willing ambassador for you to the people you bring into my life today. Would you help me to function well as your instrument of change in another person’s life both now and in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead of me. In your Son’s holy name, amen.

God bless,

Paul Tripp

PaulTripp.com

Did someone forward you this devotional? Subscribe to Paul Tripp's email list and receive Wednesday's Word each week!

SUBSCRIBE TO PAUL TRIPP'S EMAIL LIST

Discussion Prompt for Children

• What is a good way to love a family member or friend? If you knew a friend was doing something wrong that would hurt them or others, what would you do? What do you think it would be like to tell that friend they were doing something wrong and needed to change?
• Why do you think it’s so difficult to tell another person that they are doing something wrong and need to change?

Reflection Questions

1. In what ways are you committed to being God’s tool for what is best in the lives of others around you? Who are the people God is calling you to love by stepping into their lives and helping them deal with and tackle their sinfulness
2. How might you be avoiding issues in the lives of others and letting wrong things go on unchecked for them? Why is avoidance and silence something that’s unloving toward the ones you care about?
3. If God’s love is always a love leading to change, in what ways is God’s love changing you? How has any change in your life led to change in the lives of others around you?
4. In the past, how have you lived in a way that denies the gravity of your neediness? Why is your neediness of God a good thing, not bad? Take some time right now and confess your neediness to God. Then ask him to use and empower you to help bring about change in the lives of others you love and care about.