Responding to Waiting
When you have to wait, what’s your typical response?
Reflect on the last time you ran into an unexpected traffic jam, were put on hold while contacting customer service, watched for a text reply when you asked a friend an important question, or stood in line at a popular restaurant.
You may even feel some tension starting to build just reading these examples.
What about more consequential scenarios? For example: test results from a doctor’s office, an interview for a new job, an invitation for dinner with a potential spouse, a pregnancy test, or a call from an estranged family member.
In Waiting Isn’t a Waste, author Mark Vroegop explores 6 characteristics of waiting, calling believers to lean on Christ when we are uncertain about our lives, but certain about God.
Life involves a lot of waiting. For most of us, that usually doesn’t go very well. If we’re honest, waiting pushes our buttons.
While we have a natural disdain for waiting, the Bible commends and commands it. There are sweeping, hope-filled promises in the Scriptures about waiting for the Lord:
“I waited patiently for the Lord . . .” (Ps. 40:1)
“For God alone my soul waits in silence . . .” (Ps. 62:1)
“I will wait for the Lord . . . and in his word I hope.” (Ps. 130:5)
The Bible invites us to wait—to live on what we know to be true about God when we don’t know what’s true about our lives. It’s an opportunity to fill the gaps of life with worship, trust, and hope—to rest in God’s timing and provision.
However, that isn’t easy. Most of us don’t excel at waiting because it confronts our lack of control. There are countless times we are faced with the reality of our limitations. We can’t make things happen. We can’t get the information we need. We can’t change the timing.
Waiting reminds us that we’re not as powerful as we’d like to be.
3 Pitfalls to Avoid
Rather than learning to wait on the Lord, three common pitfalls tend to surface when I have to wait. They are my attempts to regain control. I’m sure you resonate with them at some level.
- Anger
You’re probably not surprised to see anger listed first. It’s probably the most common response to waiting. It can be anything from a growing internal frustration to an obvious blow up with rash actions or words. The tension of waiting often leads to sinful anger. The reason is that we try to squelch the feelings of vulnerability with force. Through sharp tones, frustrated words, or rash actions, we attempt to regain control by doing something—anything!—to end the waiting. It’s our attempt to control our lives by making things change.
- Anxiety
While anger tries to compel a fast solution, anxiety turns inward with overthinking. We think that uncertainty or delays can be solved by researching, finding alternative solutions, or thinking through options. Rather than blowing up, it’s easy to embrace a mental and emotional churning that can be exhausting. We convince ourselves that the solution is to think our way out of our limitations.
- Apathy
While anger demands action and anxiety overthinks, apathy just stops caring. To protect ourselves from further disappointment or unfulfilled dreams, we take the posture of “I just don’t care anymore.” Rather than taking the risk of hope, we attempt to limit the gaps of life with emotional numbness. However, apathy—like anger and anxiety—is just another defense mechanism to regain control.
Rather than reacting to what we don’t know about our lives, we could embrace what we know to be true about God.
I would guess that you resonate with these three pitfalls. That’s certainly the case with me. I can think back on countless scenarios when waiting quickly led to unhelpful or ungodly reactions. Frankly, despite the Bible’s promise that waiting on the Lord is good, I find a lot more examples of my resistance.
Rather than learning to live on who God is, it’s easy to fall into the familiar patterns of anger, anxiety, or apathy.
Why This Helps
As I’ve wrestled with waiting on the Lord, it’s been helpful to consider these unhelpful responses. Since my natural reaction tends toward assuming that waiting is bad, understanding my ungodly “off-ramps” reorients my thinking and reactions.
Identifying the underlying problem of control has been critical. I’m more and more convinced that our problem with waiting is directly connected to a deep desire to be in charge of our lives. I’ve found it transformative to consider the linkage between my need for control and my aversion for waiting. Opportunities to wait are moments that confront my longing to be sovereign over my life. Waiting reminds me that I’m more dependent on God than what I want. Acknowledging this allows me to get to the heart of the issue more quickly.
There’s another reason understanding these pitfalls has been helpful. Knowing that I’m prone to fill “gap moments” with anger, anxiety, or apathy allows me to be more aware when they begin to surface. Identifying the ditches allows me to turn more quickly to Lord before I go too far down another unhelpful path. Waiting creates strong emotions. Often, we don’t even realize how angry, anxious, or apathetic we’ve become. By understanding the pitfalls, we can realize what’s happening and choose a more righteous response.
As I look back on my life, I see a lot of opportunities to wait. But I also see a lot of wasted waiting. Rather than embracing the promises of God in seasons of uncertainty, I’ve often chosen anger or anxiety or apathy. Worse still, sometimes I’ve deployed all three in my attempt to conquer my vulnerability and regain control.
The Bible invites us to “take courage and wait on the Lord.” (Ps. 27:14) Moments of uncertainty and seasons of delay could be opportunities to embrace our dependency and the Lord’s goodness. Rather than reacting to what we don’t know about our lives, we could embrace what we know to be true about God.
As we understand and avoid the common pitfalls, it helps us trust in God and to stop wasting our waiting.
Mark Vroegop is the author of Waiting Isn't a Waste: The Surprising Comfort of Trusting God in the Uncertainties of Life.
This article made available through: https://www.crossway.org/
